


What Should Have Been

by Athenias7294



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athenias7294/pseuds/Athenias7294
Summary: Some things were meant to be or are they.......This is an AU set in the 40′s after the War. So no Captain America etc. Just Bucky as a normal guy.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 9





	What Should Have Been

“Ladybug.”

The question hung in the air. There was only one person in the whole wide world who had ever called you that. You turned and there he was. Bucky Barnes. 

It had been three years since you had laid eyes on the handsome dark haired man. He had been wearing a uniform then, all ready to go off and fight for God and country. 

Now he was clad in a smart double breasted black suit piped with gray. His tie and pocket square were silver silk. 

“You haven’t changed a bit ladybug. Still pretty as a picture.”

Your cheeks heated at the compliment.

In a stilted voice you replied.

“Thank you Bucky. You look well.”

You tried to look anywhere but into his eyes. 

“What brings you to the Plaza. Here to check out the Christmas tree.”

Nervously you twisted the pale gold band settled on your ring finger. 

“My husband and I are staying here while we visit my family for the holidays.”

At the word husband Bucky visibly flinched.

“I didn’t know you’d gotten hitched. My ma never mentioned it.”

He pulled you into an awkward hug.

“Uh, congratulations.”

The scent of menthol, smoke and aftershave enveloped you. 

“I’d say this calls for a celebration. Let me buy you a drink.”

“Oh, no, I.”

Bucky grinned. 

“Come on sweetheart. One drink. For old times sake.”

You never could say no to that smile. 

———————————————————————————–

The Oak Room was old world opulence. Dark wood wainscotting framed the walls, crisp white linen covered the tables. Gilded candle style lead crystal chandeliers cast a soft glow. 

Bucky requested a corner table, passing a ten to the maitre de.

Once the drinks arrived, a French 75 for you and a Glenlivet neat for him, a wooden silence settled in. 

“So, uh, what are you doing now that you’re back.”

Bucky chuckled.

“I’m hotel security.”

“Oh my, that sounds terribly exciting”

“Not really. The doormen keep the riff raff out. I’m just here for show.”

Disdain shaded his tone. 

“Gotta keep all the fat cats and their little wifey’s happy.”

A thin smile formed on your lips.

“I imagine that must become tedious.”

“Oh jeez ladybug, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you.”

Embarrassed Bucky ran his hand through his hair. He removed a gold cigarette case from his pocket, tapping it on the table before lighting. 

“What does your husband do for a living.”

He twirled the zippo between his fingers casually. You knew differently; he always fidgeted when he was nervous. 

“George is in real estate. He says Chicago is booming. Gonna be bigger than New York before long. He was a pilot with the RAF before he was injured.”

Bucky took a long drag off his smoke.

“Well, he, uh, he, he sounds like a good man.”

“Yes,” your voice was soft, “He is.”

“So where is the illustrious George.”

Bucky took another drag, tilted his head back, blew smoke toward the ceiling. You dismissed the sarcasm.

“He’s still in Chicago. There was a last minute issue with something. I’m not sure exactly. George doesn’t like to talk to business at home.”

In an attempt to steer the conversation away from your husband you blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“So what about you. Anyone special.”

“Oh you know me ladybug. I’ve got a new gal every week.”

You laughed softly.

“I know you better than that Bucky. You always were all talk.”

“Never with you Ladybug.”

He reached across the table, took a hold of your hand.

“It was never just talk with you.”

“Bucky, I.”

You stood, almost knocking your drink over in your haste.

“I really should go. My mother is watching James while I finish up some Christmas shopping. She’s expecting me soon for dinner.”

“Who’s James.”

“I really have to go.”

Grabbing your purse you tried to walk away. Bucky clasped your elbow.

“Who is James.”

“He’s my son.”

Bucky lifted his eyebrow.

“You named your son after me.”

“No, no, George has an uncle, we named.”

He cupped your cheek.

“You named your son after me ladybug.”

“I have to go.”

Turning your back you walked as quickly as you could to the lobby. At your request the doorman hailed a cab. 

“Ladybug, STOP.”

Stopping, you hung your head in resignation. Even muffled by heavy snow his voice carried.

“Why did you stop writing me Bucky.”

Your voice was timid, full of hurt. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you sweetheart. I saw men get letters from their girls, same as the ones you sent me. And, then, I saw those same men die. All I could think about was what if that was me. What if I got killed and left you behind.”

Bucky ran his hand down his face. 

“I just wanted you to be happy. I couldn’t stand the thought of you crying for me. I wanted to tell you but I just kept putting it off.”

“Bucky I thought you were dead until I finally talked to your mother. If you didn’t want me you should have had the courage to just tell me.”

“Dammit I did want you. I never stopped wanting you. All I think about is you.”

Tears pooled in your eyes.

“You are the only man I’ve ever loved.”

“Oh hell, Ladybug.”

Bucky cradled your face. The kiss was sweet, full of time and denied passion.

“Make love to me Bucky. Please.”

Desperation twisted you voice to a whine. 

“Is that really what you want baby.”

You nodded your head, afraid if you spoke you would lose courage and take the words back.

He kissed you again, sweet overpowered by impatience. Bucky grasped your hand, intent on escorting you back inside.

“No, not here. I, I can’t. Not in our room.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart.”

Bucky kissed your forehead.

“I wasn’t thinking.”

He hailed a new cab.

“Get in Ladybug. I know the perfect place.”

———————————————

It was a definite step down from the Plaza.

The entire hotel was faded. A relic of days gone by.

But that didn’t matter.

Roaches could have been crawling the walls and you wouldn’t have cared. 

This was where your wedding night should have been, not the penthouse of the Drake. 

“Your key sir.”

The desk attendant slide the fob across the counter. 

“I hope you and Mrs. Buchanan enjoy your stay.”

Silently you mouthed the name. Mrs. Buchanan tasted right on your tongue. More right than Mrs. Bishop ever had, or would. 

————————————————————————

Outside the room Bucky hesitated. 

He lifted your chin. Love shone brightly in his eyes. 

“Are you positive this is what you want Ladybug.”

“More than anything,” you answered, need laced your voice.

Suddenly Bucky swept you off your feet. Giggling like a school girl you looped your arms around his neck as he carried you across the threshold. 

He set you down in the middle of the room. It matched the lobby, faded curtains, bedspread and carpet. In your eyes it was perfect.

You felt Bucky’s presence behind you. 

“I’ve dreamed of this moment ladybug, since the first time I saw you.”

His voice against your ear raised goosebumps. 

Ever so slowly he inched the zipper of your dress downward. He dropped kisses along your shoulder blades as he unclasped your bra.

“Make it good Bucky. We only get this once. One time to put paid to everything that should have been.”

“Is once enough for that.”

“It has to be.”

He pushed your dress and bra past your shoulders, they fell to the floor, catching briefly on your pebbled nipples. Your garter belt and stockings joined them.

Stepping out of your shoes you turned in Bucky’s arms. 

The kiss was tentative at first, reverent. Until years of pent up longing took hold. Your mouths melded together in a tangle of tongues. 

Bucky walked you backward toward the bed. You fell onto the mattress, spreading yourself before him. 

Your eyes were heavy with lust as he undressed, urgency evident in the disregard for the fine fabrics. 

He climbed onto the bed easing his body over yours, hand slipping between your open legs. When he finds your clit your back arches almost painfully. 

“Love me Bucky. Please. We don’t have much time.” 

Hovering above you he paused.

“I love you ladybug.”

With that Bucky plunged into your slick core. You moaned loudly, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“Jesus Ladybug, you’re so tight. Feels so good.”

Again and again Bucky slid in and out, every thrust more desperate than the last. 

Your orgasm started to build. The pressure forming in your belly. Your whimpering filled his ears. 

“Please Bucky, please.”

Reaching the breaking point your orgasm shocks you in its intensity. Electricity burned through your nerves. Your body shook, went numb.

It didn’t take Bucky long to join you. His cum filling you up. In the moment you fervently hoped for a child. 

When you both came down from the high Bucky pulled you close. His hold is solid, comforting. But you can’t stay.

“I have to go Bucky.”

“I know Ladybug. Just a few minutes more.”

Finally you extricated yourself from him. Your skin was immediately cold. You wondered if you’ll ever be warm again. 

The two of you dressed in silence, scared to speak, neither wanting to taint the moment with the wrong words. 

———————————————————-

The snow was still falling when you left the hotel. 

Ever the gentleman Bucky hailed a cab. 

“We can share a cab. I’m heading to my ma’s. It’s on the way.”

“No Bucky. It has to end here. If we shared a cab it would lead to more. You know it would. It would be too easy. I can’t do that to George. He deserves better. I don’t feel guilty about this. We were owed this. But I can’t betray him by having an affair, no matter how much I love you.”

Opening the cab door you looked back. Bucky stood silent, his hands jammed in his pockets. Before you did something you’d regret you got in. Shutting the door you stared straight ahead.


End file.
